Just call me "curiosity"...

This morning, the younglings were in such a hurry to go to school, they forgot to close the front door tight.

This morning, I was in such a hurry to get to school, I failed to notice that the younglings forgot to close the front door tight.

The wind blew the door open.

I was busy painting my eyes.

The cat took this as a perfect opportunity to go off on a grand adventure into the great outdoors.
Normally, our precious bundle of joy isn't allowed to venture outdoors.

Why?

Because of her:
She eats cats... for fun.

So imagine my surprise when I walk into the kitchen and notice that the front door is open. Surely the cat hasn't noticed. Right? Here kitty kitty! No answer. I shake the fish food, which always grabs her attention. No answer.

CRAP! I swear to pete if that cat went outside, I'm leaving her sorry butt out there!

Dang it all, I can't do this to my kids! School will just have to wait for there is a calico pig somewhere out there whose life is in danger and must needs be rescued.

I called. I looked through the millions of trees. I followed the sound of barking dogs, who luckily, were just barking at one of the gazillion ground squirrels that have taken up residence out there. No cat. That meant one thing. She was under the porch. She doesn't like to come out from under the porch. We know this from experience. I could be here for HOURS! Little varment!

So, I did the only thing I know how to do... threaten. "So help me, cat, if you don't come out from under that porch this instance, I will feed you to the dog myself!"

"Meow", which in cat means, "who me?"

"Yes you! Now get out here before I pull you out by your dang whiskers!"

She took me serious. She not only came out, she put herself back into the house.

I still made it to school on time... but not before I threatened to kill the cat myself!