Wordful Wednesday - 86 comments

Sunday night, this was my facebook status:

Yes, those were gunshots. Yes, that was us. Yes, we were shooting at a hammer in a pinetree. No, it did not work. Yes, we are rednecks.

This was just some of the 86 comments I received (all names have been removed to protect the guilty innocent):

Friend J: i can only reply with: ROFLOL

Friend K: Bwah! If you were my neighbor I would be doing all kinds of pacing and window peeking and grumbling. But if you were my neighbor, first you wouldn't have trees and second you probably wouldn't be shooting because the next door neighbor is 2 feet away (she lives in Houston).

Nephew: I got a gun for you to try out. I built me one cool spud gun (he's an unemployed engineer/air force dude)!

ds (my "dear 15 year old son): Awesome (nephew - really, it's cousin, if you want to be specific, his cousin, my nephew that is... are you confused yet? I'll stop now.), and yeah that was fun... Scared the crap out of my dog. She was shaking so bad haha


dh (my "dear sarcastic husband"): Ain't got it yet...them hammers is SNEAKY!

Neighbor S: "you know you're a REDNECK if...you try shootin' a hammer out of a tree with a dang shotgun!"


ds: Fer Sher


dh: First, we tries the 410, not a big enuf boom. Then we tries the 12 guage...good boom, but the hammer weren't skeered. I sure wish I had a bazooka.


Me: But why punish a poor innocent tree for your stupidity? Remind me again how we got that hammer up there in the first place? HUH? "Mr. I suck" at driving remote control airplanes! Haha!


dh: Point taken. I think I'll stick to the remote controlled trucks...they go 30 mph or so, but I hardly EVER get them stuck in trees.


ds: Just for the record I never got one stuck in a tree. truck or Airplane


Friend D: ROFLOLOL!! :P


dh: It's hard to stick a plane in a tree whaen all you can do is "lawn-dart" it into the ground, eh (ds)?


ds: Yep!! =D


dh: And for the record...I truely believe that the tree had malicious intent. IT DESERVED TO BE SHOT


Me: Says who? What did that tree ever to do you besides get in the way of your plane?


Me: And scared your dog so bad we thought she was going to shake herself into a heart attack. Sheesh! I can't believe I put up with you two. ;-P


dh: I can't believe that you can put up with (ds) and that dog either...you are a saint.


ds: hey i felt bad for scaring the dog. Dad didnt.


dh: Oh, the times we shared. Building dad's house...doing "honey-do's"...tossing a hammer on a string to retrieve a plane from an evil tree...GOOD TIMES. I sure miss my hammer.


SIL (my dh's sister who lives next door): OK-You keep redneckville on your side of the trees. We don't need any of that influence. It's bad enough I live with a Sasquatch, then I gotta put up with ya'll.


SIL: (BIL) was about to get his gun and find out what you all were hunting without him. If he would have shot that hammer out of the tree then I would have had to hang it on the wall on an oak plaque..


dh: Does he have a current Hammer tag?


dh: Or is that a stamp?


SIL: I think it depends as to whether it flies or not, so I guess that would be a stamp....


dh: Might have to have a stamp AND a tag for a trophy like this.


SIL: Maybe you should put a bounty on the hammer???


dh: Holy #^&!@...I have 600 new e-mails due to this thread (dude really needs to change his facebook settings)!


ds: Rofl. 1$ Bounty!


SIL: HEE HEE! Every redneck in the valley will be offering up their weapons.


dh: Does (BIL) like his Hammers charred to a crisp like his other meats???


SIL: As long as there is no grain is done through he is good with it.


SIL: OK-that made no sense. As long as the grain is done through, he is good with it.


Me: Lucky for him, our hammer is bloodless.


ds: Its metal too


dh: Know what would be ironic? Shooting the hammer out of the tree with a NAIL gun!!!!!!


Friend: Oh my gosh, it's the Redneck Comedy Tour, right here on facebook! I would have paid admission for this.


ds: Nail gun would fail


dh: That's funny...I don't care who you are.


SIL: How long has that hammer been up there now?? Isn't it past the statute of limitations??


dh: No statue in the tree...just a hammer.


Me: Maybe we can train a squirrel to chew off the rope it's hung up there with?


dh: We done kilt all the squirrels.


dh: Some of them did suicide attacks on our transformer as well.


SIL: Maybe (BIL) could put a treestand up there and hunt it...


SIL: Is scentblocker a necessity when hunting a hammer?


dh: Why would he want to hunt our transformer??? Who's side is he on???


SIL: The hammer, dumbbutt


dh: Who you callin a dumbbutt? Why I outa.......!!!!!


ds: Can Hammers smell?


dh: (Ds) would need scent blocker...WHEEEEEW


ds: JERK !!! (he's totally kidding... I think...)


Me: maybe (ds) IS the scent blocker and that's why we couldn't get the hammer out today.


dh: Funner the hammer didn't faint and fall outa the tree.


SIL: The hammer is just too afraid to come down as asphyxiation is inevitable??? In your defense, (ds), I have never found you to smell...


dh: You can't find him???? He live NEXT DOOR!


dh: Don't worry...we love the stinky 'lil guy.


SIL: Maybe the hammer is just afraid of the ground. It has the anti-phobia of my bro.... Maybe we could call the fire department to ge the hammer down.


dh: We'll lie and say its a cat



Sister: And so goes the life of the redneck hammer hunt.....


Neighbor S: I think you win the prise for the most comments on one status on facebook...congrats...you rednecks! (fa shizzle)



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